My Nana

 "All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." 
Helen Keller

This is from my 8th-grade graduation in June 1979. This is a close-up of the family photo below. I love that my Nana is looking at me. 

“The emerging woman will be strong-minded, strong-hearted, strong-souled, and strong-bodied; strength and beauty must go together.” Louisa May Alcott

My Nana was the first woman I knew who faced adversity and was so brave. I have many examples in my life— young and old —of how to live strong. And my Nana lived through so many times of uncertainty and heart-break--- a husband at war and managing her home with young children; a house fire that took the lives of her two-year-old daughter, Linda, and her own father, Walter Hall; a divorce; later a new husband's (of few months) unexpected death; and then a move across the country.

We said goodbye to my Nana on 2/2/1987. I was a senior in college at the time. But this is my favorite picture together from my eighth-grade graduation (June 1979) —my grandparents, mother, and best childhood friend, Maggie O’Hanlon Plaster. My Nana was a strong, independent woman who lived through a lot of tragedy and heartache but always persevered. I see her perseverance in my mother and my daughters and the way they face disappointment. “We meet no ordinary people in our lives.” C.S. Lewis.  

As each of my children has been a senior in college, I have reflected on this age and all the life I have lived since being a senior in college. So many things I would have loved to share with my Nana. In the final year of college, I felt at the peak of my life, and now realize that so much living had not even been imagined yet. When my twin daughters were seniors in college, I reflected that one daughter is named after my beautiful, strong, hard-working, and kind-hearted grandmother, Margaret. "Love leaves a memory no one can steal." And now my youngest is a senior in college, I love that my children still have both of their grandmothers sharing in their lives.

She always liked us to sit in age order, even as adults. This is the last picture we took with my Nana and her five grandchildren. December 1985, California. Also, why is my Nana sitting on the ground???

William (Billy) Hackett, my Nana, and Kimberlee Shaffer Kirkman , August 1985 Baldwin Park, CA.

December 1966 Nana holding me and Billy, Malden, MA.

We are my Nana's oldest grandchildren.  We always had special responsibilities to care for the younger grandchildren.  I will always remember this privilege.  Also, Billy called my Nana "That Nana."  It is the reason I thought long and hard about what my grandmother's name would be.  In our extended family we had a Nana, Mimi, and Gigi.  I did not want to become "That Nana, That Mimi, or That Gigi." So I combined G from what my children called my Daddy--G-Daddy and what my girls called me --Mama to get my name, G-Mama.

This is the first picture of my Nana and her five grandchildren. Summer 1971, Caldwell, NJ.

L to R Kristen Hackett, Kim Kirkman, Billy Hackett, Nana holding Greg Shaffer, and Stephen Shaffer.

One of my favorite childhood memories was being together at my Nana’s house at my Nana’s lake in the summer 1971. It was a carefree summer playing on the beach, swimming in the lake, and playing with my favorite people. Of course, we enjoyed my Nana’s delicious cooking too. It is still one of my favorite times of childhood. We spent the summer together because my Nana had just become a widow. We did not bear the weight of that with us, could not have possibly understood what road she was walking, and loved every minute of that summer together. I can only hope that she was comforted by our daily living alongside her pain. “Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now, you must trust me to carry it for you.” Corrie Ten Boom

This is the first picture of my Nanas and the first two grandchildren and great-grandchildren. L to R My auntie Carol Hacket holding Billy Hackett, my Nana- Margaret Hall Lloyd (Trainor), my Nana Hall--Jessie Maude Bell Hall holding Kim Shaffer Kirkman, my mother, Margaret (Peggy) Lloyd Shaffer. December 1965, Malden, MA. Of course, I love that my Nana Hall is looking at me. As a new grandmother, I know that look.

I have seen my Nana many times in the eyes of my mother, my aunt, cousin, and my daughters. “Eyes can only capture objects that are already seen in the mind. And the mind can only see things that already written in the heart..” Toba Beta

My mother, Margaret (Peggy) Lloyd Shaffer, grandmother (Nana) Margaret Hall Lloyd, and great-grandmother (Nana Hall), Jessie Bell Hall, and me, 1965 Arcadia, CA. 

This is the first picture I have with my Nanas, my mother, and me.  I reflect on this especially as I became a grandmother this year.  I am likely closer to my great-grandmother's age than my grandmother's age.  My nana was 40 years old when I was born. 

There was always a delicious meal at her table. She let us make tents in the living room, let us play outside until late or down in the cellar, and loved us fiercely. “There’s something special about a grandmother’s house. You never forget how it smells.” Fredrik Backman. 

My grandparents Robert C. Lloyd and Margaret M Lloyd with Carol Lloyd Hackett and Margaret (Peggy) Lloyd Shaffer about 1944.One of my favorite pictures of my mother, her sister, and my grandparents. "I may not always be with you, But when we're far apart, Remember you will be with me, Right inside my heart." M. Wambolt 

In November of 1919, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed November Eleventh as the first commemoration of Armistice Day with the following words: "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country's service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations..."
Take a moment to honor those ordinary people who have done something extraordinary so that we may all enjoy the freedom we treasure today. Proud of my grandfather, Robert C Lloyd, for his service during WWII and proud of my Nana, Margaret M Lloyd Trainor, for running the household with these two young girls during my grandfather’s service.

I miss my Nana and miss her getting to meet her eight great-grandchildren and now two great-great-grandchildren. 

Margaret M Lloyd Trainor  1923-1987